Friday, April 18, 2008

When being awake doesn't improve things.

I'm still just as insensible as I was when I woke up at 4:30 this morning, perhaps even moreso. I'm betting it'd help if I'd shut up for five seconds and got some sleep instead of yakking and yakking at you here. But I'm feeling talkative and my husband is downstairs buying music.

It's been a strange few days at work and at home, mostly because I've just left work early and come home, so I'm not where I'm technically supposed to be. Unfortunately, I don't really care and I can't make myself. I get that I'm paid to be doing work within a certain time period; however, given that I'm slow for the first time at work in my recent memory, I'm certainly not desperate to rush around trying to act busy and panicked simply to appear to justify my own existence at work. This attitude will have to disappear by the time I walk into work Monday. While I do think it's a deserved attitude, it's also a slippery slope as noted earlier. Feeling entitlement to anything is never good - it can make you sloppy.

I should probably shut this off and go to bed. I should also probably tidy up a few things before tomorrow so I don't find myself wondering why my son's sunglasses are in the bathroom sink (he refused to take them off after we got out of the car, when he didn't need them anyway, and only took them off before his bath so he could take his shirt off). There's a lot of stuff I should do. But I'm not gonna right now. Instead of doing what I should do, I'm going to shut this off, kiss my husband good night and go read a trashy novel in bed. If I'm lucky, I won't doze off with it on my chest - even though I make no secret of reading them ("research," right??), I'd still prefer my husband not to read the back cover of a romance novel I'm reading even if it's one of those books I've read so many times it's almost a security blanket because of its familiarity.

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