Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Dream a little dream...

I clearly need more sleep. How do I know? Well, I'll tell you. Last night's dreams featured:

1. My daughter creating a new name for me: Carne Asada Thundershak (misspelling hers)

2. I decided to go sledding on an inner tube attached to the back of a car

3. John Lennon smoked pot in my basement and stole all my Cheetos.

 That last one pisses me off the most, by the way. I love a good Cheeto. Anyway, back to work. It's 2 p.m. and I've been working since 6 a.m. I shouldn't complain (but that hasn't stopped me yet).

Thursday, July 23, 2015

I've gotta say thank you

I always wonder how many of the "entities" that read my blog are bots or people. Those who fall into the latter category always surprise me. So whether you're a friend or stranger, thanks for reading my drivel. I get that most of it is stream-of-consciousness writing and really has no actual content, which makes me all the more appreciative that I have click activity at all (and which is probably why I imagine, though don't know, that most people quickly click away).

So, whether you're searching for panties under sundresses (my most common search term, followed by Benedict Cumberbatch and heat rash (love, love, love the combination by the way)) or just looking for random entertainment during downtime, I've gotta say thanks for reading.

That said, I'm going to give you my top 10 annoyances and aggravations of the day (I've been saving them just for you!):

10. It was too damn early when I got up. That's my fault, but still...who the hell invented 5 a.m.?

9. My bum hurts. What? I went running last night and did intervals on hills. I'm sure the neighbors found it hilarious, but I take my butthurt very seriously, as should we all.

8. I don't want to talk to anyone, but my meetings started at 7 a.m. and don't end until 4. I'm on one right now, but I'm not actually important to its continuance, which makes the fact that I am supposed to be on it all the more annoying.

7. I'm turning into a sarcastic cow. Actually, I've always been a sarcastic cow. Nevermind - this isn't a problem. I like being a sarcastic cow.

6. I'm experiencing a complete lack of motivation. But at least I'm motivated enough to be annoyed by it, right?

5. I just got a new piece of legislation last night that makes my job ten times more complicated. That should be a good thing - I love a good challenge and it's job security - but see #6.

4. Jon Stewart will soon be leaving The Daily Show and no one can do the news (or satire of said news) as well as he can.

3. I don't have enough time to think, but when I do, I daydream instead.

2. People who don't use their signals irritate the living hell out of me. Hovering next to me and glaring at me (when I'm not paying attention to you because I'm driving) is not likely to have as much of an impact as a signal to tell me you want to change lanes, you leech-infested git (let's see that as a search term!).

1. I've run out of minor aggravations and annoyances. It was way harder than I expected to create this list. I always think I'm vastly annoyed, but apparently I was wrong. I've got some pretty major concerns, but they're too big to go into here.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Adventures in product management

I think I need a mental health day. And I'm not saying that facetiously. Today I have had:

1. Two people call me to reassure me they're not dead (happens with distressing frequency)

2. Three different people yell at me for mistakes they made (assertiveness training?)

3. One person call me in tears because she got overwhelmed (I kind of want to tear my hair out, too)

4. Notification that we're reorganizing again (are you serious? individuals in my department have had job stability for an average of 4 weeks at a time - the contractors who do not work here full time have more stability than we do)

5. I also have 25 meetings scheduled for today and 8 hours in which to attend them; looking at my schedule, finding time to pee will be a challenge, much less eat anything or do actual work.

6. I've also had someone notify me that they accidentally approved code that was the direct opposite of what I requested.

I want to injure someone. First world problems, though - first world problems. I still hate everything.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

slice my fingertip off once, shame on you

Slice off a second one and that's totally my fault.

See, I thought my ring finger on my right hand was looking a little longish so I fixed it. With a mandolin slicer (not the instrument), while I happened to be slicing a radish. Kill two birds, right?? Yeah, that's it.

Ow, ow, ow.