Monday, April 7, 2008

My fear - realized

So I got in this morning, went to my 8:30 meeting, then when I got out, I started checking e-mail. It was as I feared. The e-mail deluge began at 7:30 Friday night and continued until about 1:30 a.m. this morning, with several requests to be completed no later than Monday at 8:30 a.m. What the hell?

Not only am I not a machine, in addition to our happy, productive weekend, we also had a fairly significant emergency. But even on a regular weekend, if my work is on track while I'm at work and at the time I leave in the evening, it doesn't come home with me. Yeah, I take my laptop and catch up Monday and Wednesday and occasionally on Friday because I leave early to pick up my child. But given that I usually have meetings during lunch and when I don't, I'm working anyway, I don't feel it necessary to hunch over my computer during the precious little free time I have. Even when I leave early, I somehow manage to clock over 50 hours a week.

Anyway, I must confess to some irritation. My work is what I do to pay the bills and to enjoy myself. I like my job - I really do. It provides a lot of mental stimulation and adult company and I meet interesting people. I also get to use skills I have and work on developing those I don't or that I'm deficient in. Sometimes I even feel marginally important.

But if I were to work as much as many of the people in my department, I would find myself out one marriage. I would also have less respect for myself because although I realize I can't and don't dictate my hours in general, I'd like to think I have some sort of control. Ah, well. I'm going to step off my little soapbox. After all, there are meetings to attend. And I will have to work tonight if I keep yakking.

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