Christmas this year was fantastic - at least, it was once I unwound a bit. Ragsy got what he wanted (mostly) and behaved really well (mostly) and Evelyn slept somewhat well (kind of). The only black spot on the whole thing was me, and I made Christmas Day a lot harder on myself than it needed to be, but fortunately didn't impede anyone else from having fun.
I was wound tight as a spring, waiting for Ragsy to misbehave and spending way too much time trying to calm Evelyn, who was overstimulated and under-rested most of the day and night on Christmas Day. She was having a typical baby meltdown, which occurs when she gets way too stimulated. Ragsy went through the same thing the first time we took him on a trip. I should have expected it, but I must have blacked it out. I was trying to be everything to both kids, which just wasn't necessary.
It took my brother-in-law commenting on it the next day to make me realize that I was unnecessarily tense. His exact words were, "Wow, you were so laid back, but you've done a 180 since you had kids. Why? I hope Missy and I don't do that when we have kids." I'm lucky he's so candid; I think everyone else was afraid to tell me I was being too anxious. Anyway, once I relaxed, I had a fabulous time.
We did very little - mostly ate and talked. We also came to a couple of conclusions: next year instead of going out to a dress-up dinner at the country club on Christmas Eve with young children in tow (Missy will hopefully have some then, too), we're going to heat up some strombolis, make a bit salad and watch movies all night. Also, we're going to limit gifts to each other to one, possibly just drawing a name out of a hat and giving that one person and our own SO if we like a gift. All of us have the means to buy what we want and none of us wants more stuff, so excessive gift giving among us really doesn't make much sense. That will take a lot of pressure off.
Another thing I learned is the value of pacifiers. I had sworn up and down that I wouldn't use one. Until I had Evelyn. She needs to suck a lot more than Ragsy ever did. With him, if it wasn't food and he wasn't hungry, he refused to keep it in his mouth. Evelyn will nurse to the point of vomiting when she's stressed, which upsets her even more. Or she'll mistake her stress for hunger, start rooting, then get upset when she nurses too aggressively for simple comfort sucking and gets actual food. Then she'll rear back, shrieking, more upset than before.
Finally my sister went to Target and came back with a pacifier. I was dead set against it until Evelyn lost it for a few hours unless something was in her mouth. We tried it and her eyes rolled back in her head, her entire body relaxed and she fell asleep for the first time in hours and hours. As soon as she was under enough, the pacifier fell out and she kept sleeping. She just needed it enough to calm down. So, yeah - pacifiers? Totally worth it. She won't take one unless she's actually upset. Plus, breastfeeding has been solidly established, so I really don't have any reservations about using one in moderation. Once again, I eat my own words.
All in all, a very successful, fun and educational Christmas.
1 comment:
We had a similar experience with Charlotte and pacifiers. She also had bad reflux and spit up constantly (not little dribbles--full scale curdled milk explosions). But she wanted to suckle constantly (especially after she puked, to calm her down), which made the whole thing worse. Pacifier was the way to go.
Of course, she gave it up again around 6 months when she got RSV and wheezed for a week straight. And then stuck her finger in her mouth (still trying to get rid of that habit).
Trystan used a pacifier sometimes, but could live without it, and was relatively easy to break of the habit around 1.5 (by then the pacifier was more toy than comfort device anyway). He earned his in the NICU when spending his first 2 weeks of life with no food due to bowel surgeries. I actually think the pacifier helped get breastfeeding going again in that case--he got snuggles and a pacy that transitioned back to snuggles and breastfeeding once things were sufficiently healed. Better that than an aversion to things in his mouth (after having a variety of tubes down his nose/throat all that time)
They're not tools of the devil. And they were invented for a reason :)
Merry Christmas!
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