Saturday, December 8, 2007

Just like heaven.

This weekend was scary as hell. My son has a lung infection and is hopped up on all kinds of steroids to clear out his airways. Thursday was almost as bad as that morning we had to take him to the ER for RSV. In some ways it was worse. At least that morning, he was screaming bloody murder. Thursday he was slack-jawed and dead-eyed, stumbling around and unable to walk without falling down because his lungs were so blocked. I've never seen him like that and hope never to see it again. It came on so fast. He was completely healthy when I dropped him off at daycare. No fever, happily stuffing his face while waving me out the door after giving me a huge, sloppy kiss. But that all changed within three short hours. How did it happen so fast? What signs did I miss?

He's okay now. I wouldn't give my son up for the world, but at times like these, I'm really glad I have life insurance. I can't seem to stop myself going into his room while he's sleeping just to hear him breathe. That first night he started doing better, I sat in front of the TV for hours with him in my arms, just listening to him. It was the most beautiful sound I've ever, ever heard in my life - that slow, even, clear breathing. It was the closest to heaven I've been in a long time.

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