Abra cadabra.

I always wanted to have a post title that started that way. I have no idea why. And since I haven't had an abra cadabra moment for quite some time (Ta-dah!), I figured I'd just call my post that and be done with it.

The weekend is proceeding well. Yesterday morning was very busy - a trip to the dealership to fix my breaks, another trip to the DMV to get my tags renewed (this particular DMV, unfortunately, is only open the first and last Saturday of the month), a trip to Schnucks to get eggs then a trip to another DMV to finish renewing my plates. All of this was accomplished with Ragsy in tow, and he was remarkably good about it. He only started getting upset toward the payment portion of renewing my plates. So, not bad at all.

Today we've done next to nothing. My husband went Christmas shopping while Ragsy was napping and that was about it. During a late breakfast, I quizzed him about things I'll need to know before going to India. His comments were as follows:

1. In the North, Ragsy will be spoiled rotten. Most small children, little boys in particular, are doted upon, so much so that some mothers actually hand-feed them for several years and just smile at smaller discipline infractions as long as the kid isn't actually putting himself in mortal danger. I've witnessed it firsthand, but thought it might be an anomaly. Apparently it's not. My husband advised that we'll need to enforce standard limits where possible, but some common discipline (like taking things away if he keeps throwing them) is considered excessive. Hmmm... Not sure what to do about that.

2. In some places we're going to visit, during gatherings, the women are separated from the men. In the North where his family tends to have more servants, it won't be to cook or the clean - just to gossip. In the South, women are expected to do more and only eat after the men are done, so I might be cooking and cleaning, which is no big deal - I'm pretty used to that and feel like I should offer even if they say no.

3. I need to decide whether or not I want to cover my head when I meet my husband's grandmother. It'd be the respectful thing to do, so I think I'll take a scarf and decide when I get there. While it would be respectful, they might not expect it, so I'm not sure which I'll go with.

4. I'll be the stupid American. That's already happened to me in several family situations with my husband, so that won't be new. Outside of our country, not many people have a high regard for the American school system (in some cases, that's completely understandable). And since I'm female, that's strike two.

5. My husband will speak for me on many things rather than someone asking me directly and allowing me to speak for myself. In other words, like has happened many times already, my husband will let people know if I eat spicy food, have ever traveled outside the U.S., etc.

I don't have to walk two steps behind my husband or anything like that, but it seems like there are still subtle separations and disparities between the sexes. But I guess such disparities exist everywhere in different forms wherever you go.

Still, I'm glad I had a chance to ask him. I hope Ragsy doesn't come home spoiled too rotten. If he does, it'll be a rough couple of weeks while we re-acclimate. He's a well-behaved kid in general, so hopefully it won't be too much of a difference, though in kids, just a day or two can have a significant impact.