Confessions.

It's time for my regularly-scheduled confession (which doesn't seem to happen unless I'm working from home or unemployed):

1. If there was any way to physically shove my husband and son out the door this morning without any screaming or hard feelings, I would have done it in a heartbeat.

2. My mother is annoying the hell out of me.

3. I'm easily freaked out when I'm alone in the house.

On the first, my son woke up screaming hysterically at 3 a.m. this morning. I don't begrudge him that. We all have bad dreams and for very young kids it's worse since they can't discern reality from dreams. So I had no problem going in there to comfort him, make sure he wasn't screaming because he wasn't feeling well (he was choking a little - he's been really congested thanks to change-of-the-season allergies) and try to talk the dream out a little to help him understand the difference between a bad dream and waking. What I did have a problem with was the two hours it took to get him to go back to sleep. Then when he woke up for good around 7 a.m. after I'd finally managed to get him to sleep at 5 a.m., it was nearly impossible to get my husband out of bed to shower. I love him dearly, but I don't like playing mommy to two and have to drag him out of bed to get to work in the morning. Unfortunately, I have to do this whether I'm working or not. It's one of those quirks that, if you've been living with someone long enough, will begin to annoy you. If you're me anyway. So by the time he was at the door with Ragsy, I shouted a hasty good bye, slammed the door and locked it.

My mom is on my hit list for the usual reasons - doesn't get that my desire to get a job or re-start my business isn't the same as looking for a hobby, so expects me to drop everything and take a week-long vacation with her here, nattering away while I run in the opposite direction, get mad because I can't work out in peace and otherwise search out ways to get away. The job vs. hobby thing bothers me a lot. Especially because if I do start my own business or choose to stay home and write, I'll be fair game. Calling a writer's writing a hobby, whether they're making a living on it or not, is sort of like telling a runner that they're a weekend jogger. If you don't write, chances are that you won't get how personal it is and how touchy us writers can get.

And yes, I'm a dork because I'm occasionally afraid of my house and I don't have to watch A Haunting for that to happen. I'm not a particularly religious person as most people know, nor am I normally superstitious. But occasionally as I'm at the sink or laying in bed, I'll see a flicker of motion out of the corner of my eye, the shape of a person passing in the hall or something darting around a corner just beyond my direct line of sight. I also could have sworn several times that I heard and saw Ragsy run by. The only problem was that the first time, he had not yet learned to walk and was asleep in his crib; the second and third time I was alone in the house. Then today I was sitting here working on my computer and happened to glance down the hall because a change in the scenery had disturbed my peripheral. While I watched, the patch of light from the open door to our bedroom grew slimmer and slimmer. Nothing else had changed in the house or out - just the door slowly swinging shut. So yes, I'm a total pansy and I realize I'm probably at least partially insane. Like the idiot heroine in the movies, I got up, walked down the hall. nothing happened, so I closed the door the rest of the way and left the hall light on. A total waste of energy for absolutely no reason, but if it makes me feel better, it can stay on all day as far as I'm concerned.

What are your deep, dark secrets?