1. My obnoxious need to text in full sentences with grammatically correct punctuation. I can't help myself - I don't mind the occasional slip. I make plenty of them. But a medium seemingly designed to encourage poor grammar drives me bathshit. Same for instant messaging.
2. My hair. It's wild and curly and sort of long-ish. Rags used to call me "Hair" when he was a toddler. Even at 8, he still runs his fingers through my hair sometimes when he's tired. Like my completely unpronounceable last name, it's a conversation piece.
3. My supposed freakouts. Apparently at work people think I'm incredibly calm. So when they're on calls with me and I say, "Geez - I sure was snotty," evidently I'm just being firm. I guess my screaming is all in my head. And on my blog.
4. My unfortunate habit of laughing hysterically in my sleep. My husband thinks I'm an axe murderer. So far he hasn't been proven right.
5. My dichotomous need for routine and spontaneity. I'll drop everything to take a weekend hiking trip. I've climbed the Incan trail before just for shits and giggles. But if you keep me from my morning cup of coffee, I will hurt you. Or wake me before or after my 5:30 to 6:30 a.m. window and heads will roll. I've been doing both (drinking coffee and waking up at that hour) since I was 8 or 9. I see no reason not to do either. My husband thinks it has to do with a caffeine addiction and martyr complex. But this is just how things should be.
6. I am a huge conspiracy theorist at work. I always assume that we're about to reorg. And I'm always right.
7. My curiosity about celebrity. I don't want to like celebrities. I don't want to be a fan girl. But I can't help but be curious. If you're famous, how in control are you of your own life? You have someone constantly managing your schedule for you, so I'm assuming that means you have someone else deciding when you wake up in the morning, when you get your hair done, when you eat and what you eat and how much you exercise. They tell you where to go, how long to stay there and what to say. If you are offensive, there's someone to make you back down. I've never been particularly famous, but I've been a media spokesperson and have been "press-handled" before. I can't imagine what it would be like to have that all the time. When you become famous, are you a person or a brand? My husband makes fun of me for this - he tells me if I were worth $100 million, I wouldn't care.
8. I'm still kind of afraid of the dark, and after watching a scary movie or reading a scary book have no qualms about racing from the bathroom to the bed, touching the floor as little as possible so the monsters don't get me. Luckily my husband sleeps more heavily than I do.
9. I'm easily entertained. Way too easily. This is something my husband seems to both love about me and that makes him scratch his head. It sure the heck makes working with the federal government easier. Same for the occasional child-related bathroom accident. If I can't snicker (much, much later after I'm done swearing under my breath (well out of my child's hearing)) about getting my feet peed on for the nth time, I would lead a very miserable life.
10. I make myself laugh, probably way more than is necessary. It's not because I'm super hilarious to anyone else. Just myself. And I like it that way.
Oh, well. For those of you still reading, congratulations - I'm done! For today.
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