Excuse me?

Yes, it's another rant about pregnancy. Or rather, my husband's response to my pregnancy. So far, I've been pretty stable emotionally. So, what, I cried while watching an AT&T commercial. But that was months ago and I was alone. So that doesn't count. And yes, a couple of songs on the radio have made me dissolve into a puddle. Again, I was alone. Doesn't count.

Yet I almost lost it today when I was complaining that I spent most of my day standing up at work because every time I sat down I was kicked in the same blasted spot from about 10 a.m. until I left work at 4:45 p.m. and I was beginning to get tender. Nothing I could do with the exception of sitting down could dislodge the little creature from the top right of my abdomen. Why did I almost lose it? Well, my husband (whom I love dearly) suggested that perhaps I ought to watch my sugar intake. Ahem.

I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you just say I should watch my sugar intake? Why, yes, I did share a milkshake with you yesterday afternoon. However, that's been the extent of my sugar intake for two days. Remember when I had a large glass of milk while you consumed God knows how much ice cream the night before last? Or perhaps when I indulged in some cocoa-roasted almonds while you had some cookies? Or maybe my great sugar indulgence was the bowl of strawberries I ate with my whole wheat toast the other day.

I am far from a saint where anything is concerned, least of all food. But I've been pretty decent so far and remember: I'm dangerous. I'm nesting and I'm getting jerked awake at least three or four times a night thanks to my internal ninja and am soaking the sheets nightly thanks to hot flashes. And having to wake up then sit up simply to roll over as if I were some beached whale isn't helping any. Oh, and did I mention how fun it is to squirm in my seat in the middle of facilitating a meeting, hoping no one notices how sweaty I've suddenly become?

So watch the food comments, buddy. You make them at your peril.