Reading hierarchy - yes, there is one and it is important

My husband makes fun of me...constantly. What I'm being made fun of will vary, though. Last night, he was getting his rocks off by mocking my reading hierarchy. My reading hierarchy is very important to me. Much like his habit of setting up a "nine day shirt cycle" (yes, I'm married to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory...what?), I have a reading hierarchy, organized in order of importance. You'll notice that the more important said item is, the less enjoyable it is. It goes like this:

1. Stuff I have to read not to get fired: work reading. Includes legislation, subregulatory guidance, memos, notes, data review, criteria development, requirements documentation, etc. There's LOTS of it, so I have to manage this first.

2. Crap I have to read not to get arrested or default on anything: mail. I hate mail, but hey - sometimes I'm supposed to read it, like if it's from the IRS.

3. Stuff I have to read not to be reported to CPS, or that I should read because "that's what good parents do": report cards, homework, kids' tests, stuff from cub scouts, stuff from ballet class.

4. Things I should read because they're old and therefore somehow very important: classic literature.

5. Stuff I read because I like to pretend like I'm smart: news, news sites, rah-rah business books (7 Habits variety) and such.

6. Stuff I read because I enjoy feeling bad about myself, but sometimes they help me do something that makes me feel better: women's magazines, health magazines, books on clean eating.

7. Things I read because I'm trying to pretend like not everything I read is a bodice ripper, yet I actually want to enjoy what I'm reading: creepy fiction, fantasy (e.g., A Song of Ice and Fire), some non-fiction history, kids' books (I read these with my children, for Pete's sake - I wouldn't read Splat the Cat on my own! Really!).

8. Things I read because it's a total escape (if you haven't noticed, I tend to read a bit): trashy romance, erotica.

The problem with #8 is it's amazing how truly painful it is to read a bad trashy romance. And while I'm dearly grateful to e-publishing for helping me get my own start as a smut-peddler, it's amazing how badly written a lot of the downloads from major electronic book sellers truly are.

If it's not poorly written sex scenes (the word sloshing and sex should never be in the same sentence, even if one of the characters is carrying around a bucket of water), it's reading about people you'd probably slap silly in real life. In other words, it's what made me start writing smut in the first place, only way more of it.

So there you have it. My reading hierarchy. Believe it or not, I DO work. I just needed a mental break. After putting in 60 hours this week, my brain is shot and I need to engage the reading hierarchy as soon as possible.