Saturday, September 20, 2014

Kids' shows that make me want to poke my eyes out

There are a few shows that make me want to injure someone or make me think, "Hmmm, this is what dropping acid must feel like." And they're mostly current kids' shows:

1. Mickey Mouse Club House: this show is insane. I hate the characters and they come up with the stupidest solutions to ridiculous problems.

2. The Wiggles: thank goodness this is only on at like 4:30 in the morning. My kids sleep later than that now, but this show makes me feel like I've got to be doing drugs.

3. Sponge Bob Square Pants: oh, God, I want this guy to shut up. So. Badly.

4. Dora the Explorer: too sugary sweet with insanely simplistic songs and completely oddball problems. Make it stop!

5. Sofia the First: the main character is way too nice. I would've slapped to shit out of that step-sister two seconds after I met her.

I realize that the entire above commentary makes me sound like an old fogey. I'm only 38, but I'm about two steps away from a hose and black socks with sandals yelling, "Damn kids! Get off my lawn!"

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