You Are My Sunshine - or Not

I did something really, incredibly stupid tonight. You know that song, "You Are My Sunshine?" Yeah, don't sing that to a 2-year-old, even if they've heard it a zillion times before. No matter how much they ask, don't sing it in its original form.

If you haven't guessed, this evening, Ragsy asked me to sing the aforementioned song. Like a big idiot, I ignored that soft inner monologue that hissed, "Hey, dummy. Think again before you sing this. It will not go well - it ain't exactly a happy song." So I sang it. My toddler quietly asked me to sing it again. I did and he sat up and began to wail. Oh, God.

I sat up and held him, while he asked me if I was crying. When I said no, he started sobbing again. He then said he was crying and when I asked him why, he haltingly explained to me that he was going to be taken away and I'd be sad. Then he sobbed, "Sunshine song, mommy!"

I reassured him that he wasn't going anywhere and neither was I. He asked me to sing the song again (glutton for punishment), so I did some quick thinking and made up some alternative lyrics, which seemed to satisfy because he made me sing it again. And again. And again. Then he asked me if he would be going away and I reassured him that no one could take him away from me or vice versa. So, on his request, we sang the song another five times. Finally, it was about time to go to bed. So I sat up. I knew it was a bad idea to expect him to just lay there (he has a remarkably long memory), so I went to the bathroom to make sure he wouldn't get too freaked out even by that small separation. That went well, so I cuddled him to sleep (but told him before he dozed off that once he was sleeping I'd go down the hall to see daddy).

I could have gone the rest of his childhood without singing this song at this particular time. Particularly since my kid has developed enough imagination to have determined that the thunder he's been hearing over the past few days can steal inside his room and eat his head, eyes and tummy and hasn't slept through the night since Monday because of it. I'm glad I don't remember a lot of my toddlerhood.

And I've always hated "You Are My Sunshine." Now I hate it even more.