Compulsion.

I have a long history of being extremely stingy where it comes to buying things for myself. As some of my friends who have shopped with me will note, getting me to buy clothing that fits and looks decent but that aren't on sale, clearance or otherwise extremely cheap is not easy. Which is why I'm shocked at my recent compulsion to spend.

Lately I'm finding myself spending money on coffee and food out when I have my own food at home. It's pretty silly. And it's not like I don't eat breakfast before I leave, prepare some coffee to bring to work or put together a lunch to eat while I'm there. It's like I'm a little kid who wants someone else's food just because it's someone else's. And the really annoying thing is that it's not any more satisfying once I get it. Actually, 8 times out of 10, as early as the first bite or sip, I like mine better or wonder what the heck I was thinking buying something else in the first place. Or, a couple of hours later, I don't feel as energetic as if I had eaten my own or I feel slightly ill because I'm pretty careful about the fat content and protein/veggie/starch/fiber content of my food. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to buy something other than what I've got.

I think I'm going to try to go for a week without spending on anything extra except gas and necessary groceries. Necessary meaning anything I need to supplement what I already have to make food, like milk, maybe meat (though we don't eat meat all that often), bread if we run out and fruits & veggies. It'll be interesting to see what happens. I'll start today. I brought my coffee this morning, ate breakfast before I left and made my lunch. We'll see if I can get by without getting some Baked Lays from the vending machine or a diet coke at 3 p.m.

If I really get a craving, I have a diet coke in the fridge at home that I can bring tomorrow.