The busy-ness hierarchy

Last night, I actually sat down for a while without the TV on while my husband was putting our son to bed. It was quiet. It should have been completely unremarkable. I should have been doing about a dozen other things, like working out, writing, cleaning, folding things, tidying, cooking, organizing, preparing for the next day, etc. But I didn't. I sat down and was quiet. And it was good.

For the first time in weeks I went to bed calm but not exhausted. And I was able to sleep instead of either lying awake for hours or passing out. It was fantastic.

Anyway, it sounds pretty basic, but it was a milestone for me. As I've noted before, I grew up in a house where silence and inactivity were considered really odd. Silence and idleness are anathema. Not because they're the devil's workshop or any such nonsense, but because my mom also grew up where not doing anything was simply not acceptable.

So, the "busy-ness" hierarchy works like this: most strenuous, crappy tasks take greatest priority. The least crappy tasks are the least important. But no where on that organizational chart does silence fall.

So, at the top of the hierarchy, most important but least fun, is having a job - depending on your job, of course. If you don't have a job, the top rung is heavy-duty cleaning. If you do have one, cleaning comes just barely second. (But everyone knows that, job or no, women are absolutely, positively 100% responsible for ensuring a clean and pleasant home, right?!? After all, that's what we LIVE for.)

Anyway, then comes cooking, which runs in a closed loop with cleaning.

After that, manual labor: gardening.

Once you're done with that, there's the detail work, running neck and neck with laundry and ironing (though laundry can take precedence over gardening). As in, the top rung of cleaning is the really crappy stuff - toilet scrubbing, floor washing, mass dusting, etc. The detail work is going around the stovetops with Q-tips, washing your grout in the bathroom, etc.

Once you're done with that come the home improvement projects.

Then if you've finished all those and you're still looking for something to do, well, you're in luck! There's mail to sort through and throw out. Spices to alphabetize and correspondence to keep up with (fortunately I get to do this by e-mail now).

Once you've finished all that, you better darn well have a sewing project handy to keep your hands busy. Who knows what might happen if you don't keep those hands busy (hairy palms, anyone?)!

If you've done with that or need a break, you can watch TV or call someone. Or read a book. Or, better yet, start planning the grocery list and menu for the next week, pay some bills or balance your checkbook!

But silence? Sitting around and not doing anything is just...weird. Who does that anyway?

So, it was nice last night to break through the guilt (there's so freaking much to do I almost didn't bother) and just sit and be quiet. It felt indulgent, completely decadent. And absolutely wonderful.