How to Become a Better Person

If you don't know me, you might not already know that I'm a terrible human being. Well, maybe I'm not terrible so much as not awesome. Anyway, toward the beginning of the year, as most people do, I was thinking about all the stuff I wanted to do this year. How do I become a better person? What about losing weight (what? I am female - apparently biologically I'm always supposed to want to lose weight)? Giving more of my time/money/skillset to charity? How's about more money? I like money.

During my random ramblings online one night, I ran across this helpful article from Cracked.com. Technically, Cracked is an entertainment site, but I often run across gems like this. It's full of "motherfuckers" and "asses," because that's what Cracked is like; however, a lot of it felt right. For me anyway.

Action breeds action, which breeds satisfaction alongside ambition for more action (because action feels good). Or, more boiled down: sustained happiness is hard work in the best of circumstances.At the worst of times, it's a tough slog out of a hell hole. You're welcome.

This random commentary brought to you by the number 9 and the letters N-E-E-D-S-L-E-E-P.

Freakin' magma, people.

My daughter tells me that I have a super power: I can shoot lava out of my fingertips. I wish she would remember that when she's being cranky. And maybe tell her brother while she's at it, too.

Just think, if I were a heroine in a romance novel, I'd accidentally kill or maim someone as I grew into my superpowers and my prince charming (in this case, my husband) would tell me it was ok. Not that I want to maim or kill someone.

Anyway, my daughter is also convinced I have bat ears. Probably because I told her I have bat ears. She's also really bad at whispering.

For shame!

So, I'm not sure whether to be embarrassed, proud or just damn tickled. I'll go with option c. I was looking at the most common search terms that resulted in someone finding my blog.

It was: "under the wedding dress pantie pics"

Filthy wankers. I can respect that.

Note to self: don't watch daytime TV

I'm working from home today. My work rarely allows for any time away from my desk for lunch, which is probably why I tend to lose weight during the week and gain it right the heck back during the weekend. So when I work from home and have time to do so, sometimes I go wild and crazy and do it out of sight of my work laptop. Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat on a treadmill? What? I'm a multi-tasker.

Anyway, today I made a mistake. I ate while pacing in front of the TV. And I just lost brain cells by watching Breaking Amish. A bunch of teenagers and 20-somethings with the exact same problems most people in that age group have, only they're Amish! Why yes, I'm oversimplifying. I realize that these individuals have probably dealt with a hell of a lot more than I did in my teens and twenties (I only had to deal with crazed boyfriends and scarlet letters - ah, memories). But still. It took maybe 10 minutes of dedicated attempts to watch and finally I wandered off to read legislation. It was that bad.

If I could, I'd be watching Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are wonderful actors. I appreciate compelling, over-dramatic, snotty and sarcastic as much as the next gal. But watching that during the day isn't consistent with government healthcare, rebates and arguing about whether non-interference provisions actually mean, you know, not interfering.

Alas, maybe I need to resurrect my alter-ego the smut peddler (award-winning and card-carrying, no less).
I've tried a few times, but Medicare just isn't smutty. I'll have to try harder. I'll bet I could make this rule very exciting. Much more exciting than daytime TV.

TLAs

When you can understand what it means when someone sends an e-mail saying, "We should validate the PDE against NCPDP HCID and NUCC DSD on MNM and SPS. What do you think?" you know that something went very wrong somewhere and somewhen.


And so it has. That e-mail? That was from a co-worker. The answer is that yes, we should validate PDEs against NCPDP HCID as well as the NUCC DSD on MNM and SPS to ensure compliance with the PDMB Sec. 50.90.4. And while we're at it, we ought to look at MDM and SAS.

I once wondered why no one knows what I do for a living. Now I wonder no more.