Another year about to end, a new one about to begin. 2015 has been relatively good to me, but the year is not over yet. And the past week we've had torrential rainfall resulting in some pretty dangerous flooding plus a lot of tornadoes, which is pretty darned unusual for December.
What I want for the new year hasn't changed from what I want every year. I want to keep my family, friends and self healthy and happy. I'd like us to be able to pay the bills comfortably. I'd like the kids to do well in school. I'd like all of us to live another hour, another day, another year the way we want to. Oh, and I'd like a smaller ass. And a long weekend or two and/or a cool vacation or just time spent with friends.
I'd make resolutions, but I don't often do so. First, they are so very easy to break. And once you break them, it's not like you pull up your big girl undies and get back to the business of keeping them. You generally fall off the wagon for a while. Or I do - I'm probably projecting. One way or the other, I'd rather not do that.
Second, using the first of January as a good day to start the rest of my thinner, healthier, happier, more self-actualized life has never worked well for me. The best place to start is that moment I realize, "I'd better do something about this or it's going to get much, much worse." I know myself. If I future-date my better self, my better self never happens. I envy those people who have the discipline to not only remember their promises but to make good on them on the date they specify, but apparently I have the memory and will of a gnat if I don't start right the heck now.
So, that's that. Another year ends, another one begins...really soon anyway. So happy everything - Happy Christmas, Kwanzaa and Hanukkah. Happy Solstice, Happy Anything I've Missed or Am too Ignorant to Be Aware Of. Happy New Year, Happy Holidays. May you be blessed with health and happiness and family and friends or at least contentment with yourself. May I have the same (and a smaller ass, which I'm working on right now).
Monday, December 28, 2015
Thursday, November 12, 2015
40, 40!
Today I am 40. I say it every year, but every year I'm shocked at how not upset I am. Yes, I wish I were still as young as I feel. I was a hell of a lot slimmer when I was in my 20s and had all the freedom of being childless and unmarried (but living with my then boyfriend, now husband). Yet every year, though it brings more responsibilities, brings new experiences, new joys, new friends and more opportunity. So, thanks for coming, 40. It's good to see you. May this be the best year and the best decade yet.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Falling down on the job
I haven't posted for a long time. I honestly haven't had anything interesting to say. Life has been mercifully calm with the exception of sarcastic children and insane work. I'm trying to decide if sarcasm = intelligence or just means you're an asshole. I guess I'll find out.
Anyway, we've reorganized at work. Again. Because that's apparently what we do instead of what we actually should do. Which makes absolutely no sense, but it's corporate America, which as a rule, makes no sense. That's how people get employed.
Speaking of, my husband's contract is not being renewed at work, which is kind of a bummer. On the upside, his contract doesn't end until February. On the downside, I might be the primary breadwinner in February. Hopefully I did well on my performance review this year, because I could use that bonus.
Anyway, we've reorganized at work. Again. Because that's apparently what we do instead of what we actually should do. Which makes absolutely no sense, but it's corporate America, which as a rule, makes no sense. That's how people get employed.
Speaking of, my husband's contract is not being renewed at work, which is kind of a bummer. On the upside, his contract doesn't end until February. On the downside, I might be the primary breadwinner in February. Hopefully I did well on my performance review this year, because I could use that bonus.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Long and lost
I am facebook stalking my brother and sister. Yes, I have another set of two siblings - twins - that I don't talk to. I remember when they were born. You have no idea how happy I was not to be the baby anymore, even if I was 15 at the time (my dad and my step-mom had an oopsie).
Anyway, as luck would have it, my dad has shitty taste in wives (my mom excluded, of course). His second wife was insane and ran away one day, though that lady made fabulous blueberry pancakes. She left him for a handyman, he said, but later admitted that he couldn't throw stones because she used to be his secretary.
His third wife - my brother and sister's (and step-brother and step-sister's) mom - had bipolar disorder and, over the course of 5-7 years, poured a steady stream of verbal poison into my brother and sister's ears until they refused to speak to any of us. They talk to my dad now. He's no prince, either. He had a temper on him, which is why my mom left in the first place.
Anyway, I'm hitting another milestone birthday this year and I wish I knew my siblings better. Or at all. I wish my kids wouldn't their their extra family. I love my sister - she is wonderful. It just freaks me out that there are two more siblings, even if they're half siblings, out there in the world somewhere who couldn't pick me out in a lineup. And when they have kids, those kids, my children's cousins and my nieces or nephews, won't be able to pick my kids out of a lineup either.
I could do what a normal person would do - e-mail, call. Dad frequently texts or e-mails us in a group, presumably so we have each other's numbers. We never respond to the group. None of us. I wonder what they think of me. I wonder if they care that they have two sisters somewhere, out there in the world that they never talk to.
Anyway, as luck would have it, my dad has shitty taste in wives (my mom excluded, of course). His second wife was insane and ran away one day, though that lady made fabulous blueberry pancakes. She left him for a handyman, he said, but later admitted that he couldn't throw stones because she used to be his secretary.
His third wife - my brother and sister's (and step-brother and step-sister's) mom - had bipolar disorder and, over the course of 5-7 years, poured a steady stream of verbal poison into my brother and sister's ears until they refused to speak to any of us. They talk to my dad now. He's no prince, either. He had a temper on him, which is why my mom left in the first place.
Anyway, I'm hitting another milestone birthday this year and I wish I knew my siblings better. Or at all. I wish my kids wouldn't their their extra family. I love my sister - she is wonderful. It just freaks me out that there are two more siblings, even if they're half siblings, out there in the world somewhere who couldn't pick me out in a lineup. And when they have kids, those kids, my children's cousins and my nieces or nephews, won't be able to pick my kids out of a lineup either.
I could do what a normal person would do - e-mail, call. Dad frequently texts or e-mails us in a group, presumably so we have each other's numbers. We never respond to the group. None of us. I wonder what they think of me. I wonder if they care that they have two sisters somewhere, out there in the world that they never talk to.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Run, rabbit, run!
I went to the gym on Saturday afternoon. It was awesome - I got a decent run in and lifted weights. As I was tossing my towel into the bin, however, things took a turn for the strange.
I made a mistake: I made eye contact with someone and smiled. The older gentleman on the bike in front of me smiled back and asked, "How are you?"
"Great," I said. Everything's going swimmingly. Then it took a turn.
"Who are you voting for?"
"What?" was my response.
"Tell me - if you're a Democrat, you're probably a socialist. If you're a Republican, I'll find a reason to fight with you anyway. But I'm a Christian. Those Dems are baby killers - I'm anti-abortion. No abortions. Ever." At this point I considered mentioning that in 2011 I was faced with the choice of terminating a pregnancy or a 95% change of dying (it was ectopic and causing internal bleeding), but I decided that that was a discussion I really didn't want to have with a stranger.
Because I'm either way too stupid or too polite or a combination of the two, I decided to play along. We chatted, I answered honestly. He told me my choices were socialist. We argued back and forth for a while. Then he looked at his bike and said, "There we go. Done! You were my rabbit."
Uhhh, WTH? "Rabbit?" says I.
"Yeah, I find a pretty young thing every time I go to the gym to argue with so I can finish my workout."
For the record, I'm 39. At one point in my life I was pretty enough, but I would hardly describe myself as a pretty young anything. Anyway, he went on to say that he finds some woman he finds attractive to talk to anytime he goes to the gym and that I ought to take that as a compliment. Who the heck does something like that (other than this guy)?
Anyway, it's not like he catcalled me and told me I should have sex with him or told me what he wanted to do to me (after all, he is a Christian - yes, sarcasm intended), but still... Rabbit? Ick, ick, ick.
I made a mistake: I made eye contact with someone and smiled. The older gentleman on the bike in front of me smiled back and asked, "How are you?"
"Great," I said. Everything's going swimmingly. Then it took a turn.
"Who are you voting for?"
"What?" was my response.
"Tell me - if you're a Democrat, you're probably a socialist. If you're a Republican, I'll find a reason to fight with you anyway. But I'm a Christian. Those Dems are baby killers - I'm anti-abortion. No abortions. Ever." At this point I considered mentioning that in 2011 I was faced with the choice of terminating a pregnancy or a 95% change of dying (it was ectopic and causing internal bleeding), but I decided that that was a discussion I really didn't want to have with a stranger.
Because I'm either way too stupid or too polite or a combination of the two, I decided to play along. We chatted, I answered honestly. He told me my choices were socialist. We argued back and forth for a while. Then he looked at his bike and said, "There we go. Done! You were my rabbit."
Uhhh, WTH? "Rabbit?" says I.
"Yeah, I find a pretty young thing every time I go to the gym to argue with so I can finish my workout."
For the record, I'm 39. At one point in my life I was pretty enough, but I would hardly describe myself as a pretty young anything. Anyway, he went on to say that he finds some woman he finds attractive to talk to anytime he goes to the gym and that I ought to take that as a compliment. Who the heck does something like that (other than this guy)?
Anyway, it's not like he catcalled me and told me I should have sex with him or told me what he wanted to do to me (after all, he is a Christian - yes, sarcasm intended), but still... Rabbit? Ick, ick, ick.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Home again, home again
It's back to the grind. I've been on vacation with my family in South Carolina. It was wonderful and I'm still shaking the sand from my flip flops. Of course, today we all went back to our day jobs: my kids to school, my husband to work and me to my kitchen table to work, too. I could do without it. Well, not financially, but I'm not quite mentally ready. Is anyone mentally ready to go back to real life after vacation?
I'm sitting on a conference call all day today - it's a webinar put on by the federal government. I hate these. They're spun far in advance and involve carefully scripted talking points, much like you'd expect of the government. After all, you can't reveal too much but you can't be perceived to be deflecting questions, right? Even though that's exactly what happens - "we'll get back to you." "The right people aren't here to answer those questions." "That'll be posted later." Dude, if the right people aren't "here to answer those questions," why the hell would you present on the topic in the first place?
Oh, well - what do I know? Darned logic. It never works.
I'm sitting on a conference call all day today - it's a webinar put on by the federal government. I hate these. They're spun far in advance and involve carefully scripted talking points, much like you'd expect of the government. After all, you can't reveal too much but you can't be perceived to be deflecting questions, right? Even though that's exactly what happens - "we'll get back to you." "The right people aren't here to answer those questions." "That'll be posted later." Dude, if the right people aren't "here to answer those questions," why the hell would you present on the topic in the first place?
Oh, well - what do I know? Darned logic. It never works.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Bright, sunshiny day
I've been busy. Really busy. My daughter started kindergarten a couple of weeks ago and I proceeded to be completely devastated and very proud. My son started 4th grade and I felt the same. Amazing how sad it is to watch kids grow up successfully.
After dropping them off, I cried my way to the airport to fly to Minneapolis (yay, pharmacy transactions!) to set industry standards for next year and talk to the government. The government stood us up, but we got decisions made for next year without them, so go us.
My husband managed to get hand, foot and mouth disease and then bronchitis, so I've been a single mom for the past two weeks. I have no idea how single moms do it without going stark, raving mad. And I discovered twitter and instagram, which are probably both very bad ideas, because people can not only "enjoy" my sarcastic bitterness on my blog, they can also enjoy it now on another source, and more frequently.
So that's what I've been doing. I was planning to writing a bunch of other crap, but I read the news about the shootings in Virginia. After the shootings here in St. Louis, then the additional gun violence throughout the country, I just don't see how people can justify NOT putting in place gun control laws. And it makes me numb and sad and exhausted to see all the senseless acts of violence that are made just that much easier by putting guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them.
After dropping them off, I cried my way to the airport to fly to Minneapolis (yay, pharmacy transactions!) to set industry standards for next year and talk to the government. The government stood us up, but we got decisions made for next year without them, so go us.
My husband managed to get hand, foot and mouth disease and then bronchitis, so I've been a single mom for the past two weeks. I have no idea how single moms do it without going stark, raving mad. And I discovered twitter and instagram, which are probably both very bad ideas, because people can not only "enjoy" my sarcastic bitterness on my blog, they can also enjoy it now on another source, and more frequently.
So that's what I've been doing. I was planning to writing a bunch of other crap, but I read the news about the shootings in Virginia. After the shootings here in St. Louis, then the additional gun violence throughout the country, I just don't see how people can justify NOT putting in place gun control laws. And it makes me numb and sad and exhausted to see all the senseless acts of violence that are made just that much easier by putting guns in the hands of people who shouldn't have them.
Friday, August 7, 2015
The Liquid Lunch
It's not what you think, honest. I'm drinking a big-ass smoothie today for lunch because I've been talking non-stop and the only time I can get to consume anything is if I drink it. Luckily I had an absolutely enormous breakfast, but I still want to punch someone. I wish this had vodka in it. Or crushed Xanax.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Dream a little dream...
I clearly need more sleep. How do I know? Well, I'll tell you. Last night's dreams featured:
1. My daughter creating a new name for me: Carne Asada Thundershak (misspelling hers)
2. I decided to go sledding on an inner tube attached to the back of a car
3. John Lennon smoked pot in my basement and stole all my Cheetos.
That last one pisses me off the most, by the way. I love a good Cheeto. Anyway, back to work. It's 2 p.m. and I've been working since 6 a.m. I shouldn't complain (but that hasn't stopped me yet).
1. My daughter creating a new name for me: Carne Asada Thundershak (misspelling hers)
2. I decided to go sledding on an inner tube attached to the back of a car
3. John Lennon smoked pot in my basement and stole all my Cheetos.
That last one pisses me off the most, by the way. I love a good Cheeto. Anyway, back to work. It's 2 p.m. and I've been working since 6 a.m. I shouldn't complain (but that hasn't stopped me yet).
Thursday, July 23, 2015
I've gotta say thank you
I always wonder how many of the "entities" that read my blog are bots or people. Those who fall into the latter category always surprise me. So whether you're a friend or stranger, thanks for reading my drivel. I get that most of it is stream-of-consciousness writing and really has no actual content, which makes me all the more appreciative that I have click activity at all (and which is probably why I imagine, though don't know, that most people quickly click away).
So, whether you're searching for panties under sundresses (my most common search term, followed by Benedict Cumberbatch and heat rash (love, love, love the combination by the way)) or just looking for random entertainment during downtime, I've gotta say thanks for reading.
That said, I'm going to give you my top 10 annoyances and aggravations of the day (I've been saving them just for you!):
10. It was too damn early when I got up. That's my fault, but still...who the hell invented 5 a.m.?
9. My bum hurts. What? I went running last night and did intervals on hills. I'm sure the neighbors found it hilarious, but I take my butthurt very seriously, as should we all.
8. I don't want to talk to anyone, but my meetings started at 7 a.m. and don't end until 4. I'm on one right now, but I'm not actually important to its continuance, which makes the fact that I am supposed to be on it all the more annoying.
7. I'm turning into a sarcastic cow. Actually, I've always been a sarcastic cow. Nevermind - this isn't a problem. I like being a sarcastic cow.
6. I'm experiencing a complete lack of motivation. But at least I'm motivated enough to be annoyed by it, right?
5. I just got a new piece of legislation last night that makes my job ten times more complicated. That should be a good thing - I love a good challenge and it's job security - but see #6.
4. Jon Stewart will soon be leaving The Daily Show and no one can do the news (or satire of said news) as well as he can.
3. I don't have enough time to think, but when I do, I daydream instead.
2. People who don't use their signals irritate the living hell out of me. Hovering next to me and glaring at me (when I'm not paying attention to you because I'm driving) is not likely to have as much of an impact as a signal to tell me you want to change lanes, you leech-infested git (let's see that as a search term!).
1. I've run out of minor aggravations and annoyances. It was way harder than I expected to create this list. I always think I'm vastly annoyed, but apparently I was wrong. I've got some pretty major concerns, but they're too big to go into here.
So, whether you're searching for panties under sundresses (my most common search term, followed by Benedict Cumberbatch and heat rash (love, love, love the combination by the way)) or just looking for random entertainment during downtime, I've gotta say thanks for reading.
That said, I'm going to give you my top 10 annoyances and aggravations of the day (I've been saving them just for you!):
10. It was too damn early when I got up. That's my fault, but still...who the hell invented 5 a.m.?
9. My bum hurts. What? I went running last night and did intervals on hills. I'm sure the neighbors found it hilarious, but I take my butthurt very seriously, as should we all.
8. I don't want to talk to anyone, but my meetings started at 7 a.m. and don't end until 4. I'm on one right now, but I'm not actually important to its continuance, which makes the fact that I am supposed to be on it all the more annoying.
7. I'm turning into a sarcastic cow. Actually, I've always been a sarcastic cow. Nevermind - this isn't a problem. I like being a sarcastic cow.
6. I'm experiencing a complete lack of motivation. But at least I'm motivated enough to be annoyed by it, right?
5. I just got a new piece of legislation last night that makes my job ten times more complicated. That should be a good thing - I love a good challenge and it's job security - but see #6.
4. Jon Stewart will soon be leaving The Daily Show and no one can do the news (or satire of said news) as well as he can.
3. I don't have enough time to think, but when I do, I daydream instead.
2. People who don't use their signals irritate the living hell out of me. Hovering next to me and glaring at me (when I'm not paying attention to you because I'm driving) is not likely to have as much of an impact as a signal to tell me you want to change lanes, you leech-infested git (let's see that as a search term!).
1. I've run out of minor aggravations and annoyances. It was way harder than I expected to create this list. I always think I'm vastly annoyed, but apparently I was wrong. I've got some pretty major concerns, but they're too big to go into here.
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