Third time's the charm

I just realized I've only posted a couple of times this month. I'm sure you're devastated. A huge issue at work combined with a road trip to the Grand Canyon means less of me and more relaxing for you.

But your break is over.

Allow me to regale you with our Griswalds-esque vacation. Luckily no animals (that we know of) were injured during this road trip nor were children. Here's what we did:

We headed to Tulsa on a dark and stormy Friday night. We didn't get there until 2 a.m., which kinda sucked, but we got there.

The next day, we headed from Tulsa to Albuquerque. Did you know that on the way from St. Louis to Albuquerque you will get an opportunity to see not only the largest rocking chair in the world but also the American Banjo Museum? I'll bet you didn't!

Anyway, we got to Albuquerque. I love this town. We stayed in a condo we found on VRBO and it was wonderful, cheaper than a hotel and we had three bedrooms and a kitchen. During the full day we had there, we went to Old Town, Sandia Peak (where we got engaged), Petroglyph National Monument, the Aquarium (shockingly awesome) and the Botanical Gardens (coolest enchanted gardens ever).

And then, then came the drive to the Grand Canyon. There was a TON to see on the way, but we only managed to get to the Petrified Forest. It was beautiful and very stark. Funny enough, there is a scuba diving hole in the middle of the desert between Albuquerque and Flagstaff. In fact, there were a LOT of unexpected findings in the desert, like the Indian buffet/diesel/truck stop we ran into outside of Tucumcari, ice volcanoes and museums in pretty much every town we went to.

We spent a full day at the Grand Canyon, which was absolutely amazing. Then we drove back to Albuquerque, seeing the world's largest, best-preserved crater along the way. Once in Albuquerque, we went to the National Museum of Nuclear Science (which is awesome, but hard to take for 4 hours), then to the kids' museum, Explora.

Then we drove home. All in all, it was an awesome vacation, from what we did to the random arguments we got into with our kids. Witness Ragsy's first threat to run away from home. He decided that since I wouldn't let him throw planes in the hotel he was going to run away. But to do so, apparently my job was to drive him from Albuquerque to St. Louis, then drive all the way back to the Grand Canyon once he'd gotten his wallet.

We talked about it for way too long, during which I allowed myself to get backed into a logical corner. By an 8 year old. Dammit. Oh, well - if he's smarter than I am, I've done my job, right??

It's Always Sunny in St. Louis?

It has been a weird, horrible week and I am so done. Sadly, it is Tuesday. We've been dealing with a huge client escalation at work. As such, I've been working most nights and weekends. Again. When I did get out this weekend (what? I needed pajama pants so I went to the mall), an older lady - maybe 60 or so - cat called me. Kind of anyway.

It's always unsettling when you walk through a pair of doors, hold open the door for the person behind you, only to be told, "Damn, baby - you sure fill out those jeans nice!" Uhhhh. Not many people who aren't my husband can tell me that without getting punched. But I do make exceptions for the elderly and those who I hope have dementia.

Anyway...

This weekend we're going on a Griswalds-esque trip. It should be loads of fun. I cannot wait, but I'm going to have to take my laptop. Just in case you see.

The things we do for love

February is already gone. When did that happen? It's been a busy few weeks. A trip to Charlotte, a hideous infection, caring for children with their own hideous infections and trying very, very hard not to roll my eyes too much while my husband and son snipe at each other. Cub scout awards, dance recitals where the Frozen soundtrack is playing for the eleventy-billionth time. Ah, bliss. Right?!

It's been fun. Luckily my husband redeemed himself last night for sulking so much lately about the above-mentioned sniping. It involved running around, singing, "I Love Rock & Roll" and "Pour Some Sugar on Me" in his native Indian accent (if you've ever met my husband, he sounds like he's from Midwestern United States). While washing dishes. Without me having to ask. It's the little things, right?

But I earned my keep. You don't want to know how, but I'm going to tell you because somebody's got to hear it and you're the lucky winner. This is too much information, so if you're grossed out by kid poop stories, stop reading. If you're not, by all means, read on.

So...my husband and I were sitting at the table. Evelyn goes skipping off to the bathroom yelling that she's got to poop. Love it how much they share. Anyway. after a few minutes I hear, "Mommy, help!" I'm thinking I'll have to go pick up a big mess. But it was actually worse.

Have you ever helped "clean out" a constipated five year old who is crying because her bum hurts? No? Well, you are missing out. On feeling like you need a long, boiling hot shower. She didn't like it, either. Luckily there were no trips to the ER. But holy mother of enemas, there are some parts of being a parent I could do without, bodily by-products being primary.

I'm sure I will look back on this and snicker. I already am. Mostly because these things tend to happen at fortuitous moments, such as just after I'd said, "It's nice to actually sit down and talk to you," like I did to my husband last night.

Ah, the things we do for love.