I shouldn't be so negative. Really, I shouldn't. But still, I am SO glad it's a new year. Not that a day really makes a difference. Still, I've never really understood why people think that New Year's Day is such a big deal. Now I do.
In 2011, I started my new year off by finding out I was pregnant then promptly almost dying due to internal bleeding and losing the baby because it was an ectopic pregnancy that he begun to burst and bleed into my abdomen. Work sucked in 2011 because we had a hefty dose of the crazy and miserable and I spent what felt like half the year (but really was only a few weeks) traveling way too frequently. A good friend of mine discovered that her breast cancer had progressed to stage 4. The kids were stressed, my husband was stressed and I was about to tear my hair out, curl up in fetal position and cry or lock myself in the bathroom and scream. I think I even did one or two of those things at some point.
Now it's 2012. Unless I'm the Virgin Mary, I probably won't get pregnant again. Then again, I didn't think I'd have eclampsia or an ectopic pregnancy (I was on birth control and breastfeeding at the time, too). Proved myself wrong there, though, didn't I? I didn't think I wanted to have more children. Now I know that I wouldn't mind having another baby, but I don't think I or my family could take the potential consequences.
Anyway, work is getting (slowly) better. The crazy has left the building, for now anyway. Or rather, both crazies have left - the one with the flammable materials hasn't come back, either. And apparently I'm going to have some modicum of control, or so they tell me.
Ragsy is doing better in school right now, Evelyn is in the terrible twos which isn't great but it's a sign of progress and my husband's business is going well. So 2012 does bring with it a certain amount of opportunity and optimism that 2011 just didn't have.
So, bring it, 2012. Make this year better than the last. Make me thinner, calmer and more sane. Make me more successful, more methodical and a better parent. Or at least help me get through 2012 without great loss, without messing up my kids too much and with a stronger relationship with my husband.
4 comments:
Oh wow, you had quite the year in 2011. I'm so sorry for all of the things that happened. My mother can kind of relate to your pregnancy, and she lost the baby and it was a mess. I hope you're okay after all of that happening. I also hope your friend with breast cancer is doing alright. Best of luck to her, also.
Good luck to you, your husband and your children!
Thank you for your kind words! This year will be better than last year. It's already gotten off to a much better start.
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