A very good friend of mine was diagnosed last summer with breast cancer. She had surgery, was in remission. It came back - in her bones, her thigh, her liver and her brain. So now she's having a combination of radiation therapy and chemo.
I saw her today. I don't think I've ever been so afraid for someone in my entire life. I know it's normal when you're undergoing chemo, but she's lost most of her hair and is now using a walker. If she puts too much weight on her legs she might break one because the bone is so thin. She had taken an anti-nausea pill, but it didn't work, so she had to leave early because she couldn't stop vomiting (I'm never going to be able to go to a Bread Company now without thinking of vomit when I smell asiago bagels). Once we had cleaned her up as much as we could, we helped her to her car, but she started throwing up again, so we called her husband, who came to drive her home.
Anyway, I didn't like her at first because she was so nice. It's not that I don't like nice people, but I couldn't figure out what her angle was. It took me months to realize that she didn't have one. She was always the person you could go to for really good advice, who knew everything about the company we worked for and had done everything. She was so energetic, and I still remember her saying to me almost everyday, "Okay, Adrienne. I'm gonna do it. Today is the day I get everything done."
She said it again today. Right after she whispered (her meds have screwed up her hearing, so she often whispers because she's worried she'll shout), "Goddamn it, Adrienne. I am so pissed. This whole goddamn cancer thing has me so pissed."
I had typed earlier that I hope everything will be okay. But I don't think it will. I don't blame her for being pissed. Of all the parties affected by this, I'm probably impacted the least, but I'm pissed, too.
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