"Cyst" and "brain." Today's ultrasound went seamlessly for the most part, but at the end, after my husband had taken off with our increasingly-restless three-year old, the doctor came back in to look at a couple of things himself, most notably the bilateral choroid plexus cysts the ultrasound tech discovered in my baby's brain. After reviewing the ultrasound and confirming the measurements and echo-whatsit on the baby's heart, then hearing that my quad screen had come back negative, he reassured me that it was probably nothing to worry about - the cysts should be gone no later than 32 weeks.
The intellectual part of me is satisfied that everything's fine. The over-emotional, more fatalistic side of me, though, is going, "Well, yeah, right, so the likelihood of your baby having trisomy 18 is 1 in 300 now. But, how likely was it that your baby would have cysts to begin with? One in 100? Oh, and what about that seizure disorder? How likely was that? And what about that eclampsia? 'Likely' doesn't always seem to work with you now, does it, hmmm?"
I'm trying very hard to tell that side of me to kiss my butt. It'd be a hell of a lot easier to do that if I had a normal brain to begin with (I'm talking about my seizure disorder, not my overall craziness). I just keep telling myself that the likelihood of these cysts must be higher than originally thought because of the newfound sophistication in ultrasounds. Please let that be true.
2 comments:
I almost hesitate to post anything, because you are probably aware of all my son's issues, and I don't want to look like a harbinger of doom. But I remember getting the news about his umbilical cord and kidneys after our first ultrasound, and the radiologist who kept tossing around statistics and the words "soft marker" for various syndromes, and I remember how I felt.
Hang in there! Remember not to stress about things that you cannot change. Take care of yourself, and of that precious baby, and know that the thoughts and prayers of your friends are with you and your family right now.
Thanks for your comment. I never thought I'd say this, but I truly wish that they hadn't told me about it unless it was associated with other markers I needed to be aware of.
Post a Comment