Slice off a second one and that's totally my fault.
See, I thought my ring finger on my right hand was looking a little longish so I fixed it. With a mandolin slicer (not the instrument), while I happened to be slicing a radish. Kill two birds, right?? Yeah, that's it.
Ow, ow, ow.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
More proof my children are plotting my demise
A conversation between two kids, aka, my children plot my demise before a baseball game:
Evelyn throws her arms around my neck and whispers, "Mommy, I love you so much that when you and daddy die and the sun devours the earth, I'll take you with me in a box to another planet."
I say, "Oh, God, really? I mean, I love you, too. You're sweet and creepy. But mostly sweet." (Note to self: don't call your daughter creepy.)
Rags, disgusted, comes back with "Evelyn, you can't do that! You can't carry mom and dad around in a box!"
Stupidly, I breathe a sign of relief until he says, "They're too heavy. You'll have to rent a truck or put wheels on the box or something. Come here, I'll show you. Mom, can I measure you?"
My response? "I'm going into the kitchen. I'm sure there's something I'm supposed to be doing there."
Fin
Evelyn throws her arms around my neck and whispers, "Mommy, I love you so much that when you and daddy die and the sun devours the earth, I'll take you with me in a box to another planet."
I say, "Oh, God, really? I mean, I love you, too. You're sweet and creepy. But mostly sweet." (Note to self: don't call your daughter creepy.)
Rags, disgusted, comes back with "Evelyn, you can't do that! You can't carry mom and dad around in a box!"
Stupidly, I breathe a sign of relief until he says, "They're too heavy. You'll have to rent a truck or put wheels on the box or something. Come here, I'll show you. Mom, can I measure you?"
My response? "I'm going into the kitchen. I'm sure there's something I'm supposed to be doing there."
Fin
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Burned - also known as "learning to wear sunscreen the hard way"
Back to my normal, mundane irritations. Today I hurt like hell.
Yesterday I worked out at the Y for about an hour and a half, doing substantial amounts of cardio and increasing my weight load, which is always bound to hurt. Still - yay! I'm stronger!
Then I took the kids to the pool to meet up with a few of their friends and one of the moms, who I'm friends with. And, like an idiot, I forgot my sunscreen before taking my children to the pool. Keep in mind, my kids do not burn. It doesn't matter whether or not they wear sunscreen (though I make them anyway to avoid skin cancer and guilt) - since they were babies, I've never seen them develop even so much as a light blush across the bridge of their noses, whether we were at the beach in stinging hot sun or not. I, on the other hand, do not have the beautiful, rich tawny and latte skin they inherited - the best of both me and their father. Instead, I'm "blessed" with pinkish cream-colored, freckle-prone skin.
We were at the pool for almost three hours. As a result, last night I was so crispy I was feverish by bedtime. The fever seems to have gone away this morning, but my skin hurts today. It stings even when I don't move. That, combined with normal muscle soreness (which will be way worse tomorrow - usually takes me 48 hours to really hurt), has resulted in the consumption of lots of ibuprofen with my coffee.
But there are two bright sides to this stupidity: one, this will fade to a tan, a pretty decent one. Two, while we were at the pool, my daughter taught herself to swim without help! She has now earned her snorkel. That's what I use to bribe my kids to learn how to swim alone. Normally I refuse to bribe, but if it gives them incentive to either a) learn something scary that will ensure their future safety (learning to swim is not optional) or b) finally learn a difficult task that is developmentally appropriate (limited to potty training), I'm all about it.
Anyway, off to attempt a shower. Glad I took all that ibuprofen because I will surely need it.
Yesterday I worked out at the Y for about an hour and a half, doing substantial amounts of cardio and increasing my weight load, which is always bound to hurt. Still - yay! I'm stronger!
Then I took the kids to the pool to meet up with a few of their friends and one of the moms, who I'm friends with. And, like an idiot, I forgot my sunscreen before taking my children to the pool. Keep in mind, my kids do not burn. It doesn't matter whether or not they wear sunscreen (though I make them anyway to avoid skin cancer and guilt) - since they were babies, I've never seen them develop even so much as a light blush across the bridge of their noses, whether we were at the beach in stinging hot sun or not. I, on the other hand, do not have the beautiful, rich tawny and latte skin they inherited - the best of both me and their father. Instead, I'm "blessed" with pinkish cream-colored, freckle-prone skin.
We were at the pool for almost three hours. As a result, last night I was so crispy I was feverish by bedtime. The fever seems to have gone away this morning, but my skin hurts today. It stings even when I don't move. That, combined with normal muscle soreness (which will be way worse tomorrow - usually takes me 48 hours to really hurt), has resulted in the consumption of lots of ibuprofen with my coffee.
But there are two bright sides to this stupidity: one, this will fade to a tan, a pretty decent one. Two, while we were at the pool, my daughter taught herself to swim without help! She has now earned her snorkel. That's what I use to bribe my kids to learn how to swim alone. Normally I refuse to bribe, but if it gives them incentive to either a) learn something scary that will ensure their future safety (learning to swim is not optional) or b) finally learn a difficult task that is developmentally appropriate (limited to potty training), I'm all about it.
Anyway, off to attempt a shower. Glad I took all that ibuprofen because I will surely need it.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Just another crazy week in the news
Sometimes I hate everything. This week is a good example. It seems like when everything goes to shit, it does so in spectacular fashion. Anyway, enough about work...
Two things:
1. Flipping devastating news in Charleston. First of all, I am not big on organized religion, but I still hold things that others hold sacred as sacred or at least worthy of respect. Second, race. It's a huge problem in this country. Not that people are other races - that's beautiful. But that people hate other races just for being.
I'm in an interracial marriage. I don't often think of it that way, but I am. My husband and I come from vastly different backgrounds and cultures. As my kids often point out, he's brown and I'm pink. Had my children been in that church, had my husband been in that church, would they have deserved to die just because of their brown-ness? Of course not. It's hard to imagine what the hell was going on in that kid's mind and how he became so poisoned. And it's hard to imagine how one half of the country or at least the talking heads that represent that half can sweep that aside. Race is an issue in this country. It never went away. If we don't talk about it as a problem, it will never be solved.
2. Climate change from the Pope. I cannot tell you how happy I am that a Pontiff would recognize the devastation that is climate change. We all contribute - I do. You do. And I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that people are decrying recognizing science as "political." There's nothing political about accepting fact.
Data is put before you. You analyze the data. It proves X, therefore X must be a valid point. If X hurts us all, we should do something about it. Simple, but not easy, but there nonetheless. Again, if we don't talk about it as a real problem, we will never be able to stop it or, in this case, make it less bad. Because at this point, that's really all we can do.
Ok. Off my soapbox and back to the absolute and complete circus that is my work. Sometimes I just want to walk out that door. Other times I'm energized by the spiderweb of challenges set before me. Anyway you look at it, Medicare is hard and many people are jackasses for whatever reason.
Two things:
1. Flipping devastating news in Charleston. First of all, I am not big on organized religion, but I still hold things that others hold sacred as sacred or at least worthy of respect. Second, race. It's a huge problem in this country. Not that people are other races - that's beautiful. But that people hate other races just for being.
I'm in an interracial marriage. I don't often think of it that way, but I am. My husband and I come from vastly different backgrounds and cultures. As my kids often point out, he's brown and I'm pink. Had my children been in that church, had my husband been in that church, would they have deserved to die just because of their brown-ness? Of course not. It's hard to imagine what the hell was going on in that kid's mind and how he became so poisoned. And it's hard to imagine how one half of the country or at least the talking heads that represent that half can sweep that aside. Race is an issue in this country. It never went away. If we don't talk about it as a problem, it will never be solved.
2. Climate change from the Pope. I cannot tell you how happy I am that a Pontiff would recognize the devastation that is climate change. We all contribute - I do. You do. And I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that people are decrying recognizing science as "political." There's nothing political about accepting fact.
Data is put before you. You analyze the data. It proves X, therefore X must be a valid point. If X hurts us all, we should do something about it. Simple, but not easy, but there nonetheless. Again, if we don't talk about it as a real problem, we will never be able to stop it or, in this case, make it less bad. Because at this point, that's really all we can do.
Ok. Off my soapbox and back to the absolute and complete circus that is my work. Sometimes I just want to walk out that door. Other times I'm energized by the spiderweb of challenges set before me. Anyway you look at it, Medicare is hard and many people are jackasses for whatever reason.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Tell me lies, sweet little lies
Work is aggravating the bejeezus out of me. I've been in back to back meetings since 7 a.m. and it is now 4 p.m. I still have another couple of hours of work ahead of me, but luckily I can do it while my children sleep. In the meantime, I've been able to stand up only long enough to pee (you're welcome).
Anyway, to entertain myself when I'm not speaking or thinking I started thinking of all the nice things we say to each other when we don't always mean it.
Here are a few:
To my husband: "Your beet root, broccoli, kale and pineapple smoothie is delicious!" (Urp.)
To my son: "Those shoes make you go way faster." (You're too fast as it is.)
To my daughter: "I just don't want the roly-poly bugs in your bed because they're happier outside. They should be with their families." (OMG, bugs in the bed - bugs in the bed!!)
To my mom: "I think Meghan Trainor's song All About that Bass is adorable, too." (at least the version used in the diaper commercial is)
Anyway, that's all I've got. My brain feels like it's turning to mush inside my skull and will shortly run out my ears. Another delightful visual. And something heavy (hopefully a branch and not a dead squirrel, badger or other rodent-like animal (I like to say badger, though realize having one fall on my house is unlikely)) just fell on top of the roof. So I should probably go make sure it's all intact.
Anyway, to entertain myself when I'm not speaking or thinking I started thinking of all the nice things we say to each other when we don't always mean it.
Here are a few:
To my husband: "Your beet root, broccoli, kale and pineapple smoothie is delicious!" (Urp.)
To my son: "Those shoes make you go way faster." (You're too fast as it is.)
To my daughter: "I just don't want the roly-poly bugs in your bed because they're happier outside. They should be with their families." (OMG, bugs in the bed - bugs in the bed!!)
To my mom: "I think Meghan Trainor's song All About that Bass is adorable, too." (at least the version used in the diaper commercial is)
Anyway, that's all I've got. My brain feels like it's turning to mush inside my skull and will shortly run out my ears. Another delightful visual. And something heavy (hopefully a branch and not a dead squirrel, badger or other rodent-like animal (I like to say badger, though realize having one fall on my house is unlikely)) just fell on top of the roof. So I should probably go make sure it's all intact.
Friday, June 12, 2015
M/I Brain
I cannot seem to get reject codes out of my head today. Probably because I help put them into a large claims adjudication system. We've been getting new legislation almost every day on one of my projects for the past two weeks, and my brain is turning to absolute and complete mush. Seriously, it's getting to the point where I'm getting a bit numb and it's hard to give a shit. Probably because I no longer have many shits to give.
But, on the bright side, it's summer! Pools are open, days are hot and the water is starting to warm up after a pretty chilly start to the season. I can't wait until this evening. Watching third graders play baseball is pretty boring, but I get the company of adults that aren't expecting me to do stuff, my daughter gets to play on the play ground and in the dirt with her friends and my son gets to do his favorite sport with all his buddies. It's win-win-win.
Also, since I have meetings double and triple booked from 7:30 a.m. straight until I leave to pick children up and frequently get so pissed in the middle that I find myself walking around the block a few times to calm down, I'm losing weight pretty quickly. So that's not all bad. Though heaven help me if things slow down.
Assisting in this delightful de-poundage is my husband, who has adopted the Vitamix as his new baby. Did you know that a kale-beet-tomato-pineapple smoothie tastes like dirt? Sweet, sweet dirt? Yeah, I didn't know that either until this morning. I also now know that I don't like drinking dirt, but it's filling. Oh, and better than the previous day's raw broccoli-carrot-pineapple smoothie, or whatever that was. I had a sip, but my husband forced down two glasses. Probably not incidentally he had broccoli smell oozing out of his pores for at least 24 hours.
That's really all I've got - boo work, yay summer. So more or less the same thing I say everytime.
But, on the bright side, it's summer! Pools are open, days are hot and the water is starting to warm up after a pretty chilly start to the season. I can't wait until this evening. Watching third graders play baseball is pretty boring, but I get the company of adults that aren't expecting me to do stuff, my daughter gets to play on the play ground and in the dirt with her friends and my son gets to do his favorite sport with all his buddies. It's win-win-win.
Also, since I have meetings double and triple booked from 7:30 a.m. straight until I leave to pick children up and frequently get so pissed in the middle that I find myself walking around the block a few times to calm down, I'm losing weight pretty quickly. So that's not all bad. Though heaven help me if things slow down.
Assisting in this delightful de-poundage is my husband, who has adopted the Vitamix as his new baby. Did you know that a kale-beet-tomato-pineapple smoothie tastes like dirt? Sweet, sweet dirt? Yeah, I didn't know that either until this morning. I also now know that I don't like drinking dirt, but it's filling. Oh, and better than the previous day's raw broccoli-carrot-pineapple smoothie, or whatever that was. I had a sip, but my husband forced down two glasses. Probably not incidentally he had broccoli smell oozing out of his pores for at least 24 hours.
That's really all I've got - boo work, yay summer. So more or less the same thing I say everytime.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Come live with me under my bridge. But shut up.
I'm having one of those weeks where I really, really wish I didn't have to talk to anyone ever. I mean, I normally loathe speaking to people who are not my friends and family outside of work. Even during work, I hate to talk to people, but I'm required to do so to get money.
Anyway, for some inexplicable reason it's worse than usual, particularly today. I think it's a matter of having expectations that are just too high. In other words, it's too much to expect that:
1. If I have no meetings, it will stay that way. It's 12:39. I'm on a meeting now, waiting for it to end because I'm really damn hungry and about to stab someone. I was so excited because my 1 o'clock meeting is one that I don't actually have to pay attention to, so I was thiiiiis close to having my soup. And then...someone more important than me schedules a meeting for me and a small group of people that is mandatory and on which I will be obligated to speak. Well, fuckbuckets. I think it's time to invest in an IV and a catheter (and yes, sometimes I don't even have time to pee).
2. My kids will not argue. They seem to reserve arguing for when I super duper don't want to talk. Most people's lives in general are filled with noise, chatter, clatter that you have to tune out just to focus on what you're doing right now. One could argue that I should ignore them, too. But that becomes impossible when I know what's coming. [cue JAWS music] "Moooommy, Ragsy called me crazy!" "I did NOT. I said don't be crazy." "He did it again!" "No I didn't!" and so on until I want to slap someone silly to prevent my children from slapping each other.
3. My husband will not have a midlife crisis or want to talk about "something very concerning," like the fact that surely my son will wind up friendless and failing out of school if he keeps wearing his hat, day in and day out. Seriously, man, chill out. I love you. I love our kids. Their lives will NOT be ruined if they have bad posture - no lecture required. Tickling his back to get him back up straight will do nicely.
4. The government will not send out new legislation that will require that I completely scrap my current project requirements to develop new ones. I've been working on this for more than a year, dammit. Are you freaking serious?
5. Someone will let me hide, just for a while. Not. Gonna. Happen.
So, now I know what I'm going to do today. I'm going to find a bridge and crawl under there with a novel, maybe my laptop (my personal laptop, not my work laptop), some earplugs and a pillow. And possibly a giant pile of cookies. You can come, too. But keep very, very quiet. I'll be the new troll in the Billy Goats Gruff.
Anyway, for some inexplicable reason it's worse than usual, particularly today. I think it's a matter of having expectations that are just too high. In other words, it's too much to expect that:
1. If I have no meetings, it will stay that way. It's 12:39. I'm on a meeting now, waiting for it to end because I'm really damn hungry and about to stab someone. I was so excited because my 1 o'clock meeting is one that I don't actually have to pay attention to, so I was thiiiiis close to having my soup. And then...someone more important than me schedules a meeting for me and a small group of people that is mandatory and on which I will be obligated to speak. Well, fuckbuckets. I think it's time to invest in an IV and a catheter (and yes, sometimes I don't even have time to pee).
2. My kids will not argue. They seem to reserve arguing for when I super duper don't want to talk. Most people's lives in general are filled with noise, chatter, clatter that you have to tune out just to focus on what you're doing right now. One could argue that I should ignore them, too. But that becomes impossible when I know what's coming. [cue JAWS music] "Moooommy, Ragsy called me crazy!" "I did NOT. I said don't be crazy." "He did it again!" "No I didn't!" and so on until I want to slap someone silly to prevent my children from slapping each other.
3. My husband will not have a midlife crisis or want to talk about "something very concerning," like the fact that surely my son will wind up friendless and failing out of school if he keeps wearing his hat, day in and day out. Seriously, man, chill out. I love you. I love our kids. Their lives will NOT be ruined if they have bad posture - no lecture required. Tickling his back to get him back up straight will do nicely.
4. The government will not send out new legislation that will require that I completely scrap my current project requirements to develop new ones. I've been working on this for more than a year, dammit. Are you freaking serious?
5. Someone will let me hide, just for a while. Not. Gonna. Happen.
So, now I know what I'm going to do today. I'm going to find a bridge and crawl under there with a novel, maybe my laptop (my personal laptop, not my work laptop), some earplugs and a pillow. And possibly a giant pile of cookies. You can come, too. But keep very, very quiet. I'll be the new troll in the Billy Goats Gruff.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Move along - nothing to see here
Seriously, I'm dead boring this week. Which is a good thing. Because I must say, I'm tired of the end-of-year crap, the Mother's Day crap and people being sick. This is one thing about Mother's Day: I love being appreciated. In fact, you could say I very much appreciate it. However, I feel most appreciated when I'm appreciated on my time. In other words, being appreciated at 10 a.m. on a weekday when I have to specifically ask time off from work so I can go be appreciated is kinda contrary to that purpose.
End of year: really, do I have to be there to celebrate my child reaching the end of the school year? I'm happy for them. I'm proud of them for somehow having survived another year in school without getting the snot beaten out of them, destroying their lives forever or otherwise getting into deep donkey doo. However, schools have yet to realize or care that very, very few families can afford anymore to have a single earner. Which means, again, asking for time off work to go to these parties, which the kids enjoy, but you still wind up standing in a corner with the other adults while the kids do their thing and don't really care if you're there or not. Woo hoo.
People being sick: can't do much about it. Still, I've noticed that there seem to be stages in parenting a sick kid.
1. Denial. He's not sick - it's allergies.
2. Dawning horror and guilt. Crap. It is a virus/bacterial infection/other infection! I'm a terrible parent for not realizing he was sick.
3. Action. Take temperatures, make kid comfortable, maybe take kid to the doctor.
4. Relief. The doctor tells me to give him Motrin and make him rest while feeding him juice and soda and popsicles.
5. Annoyance. Kids who have been prevented from moving all day and whose fever has been managed with Motrin then who have been encouraged to drink and/or eat juice, soda and ice pops are not so fun to hang out with. I'd rather be at work.
6. Anticipation. He's almost better. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal. Yay!
7. Relapse. Ugh, the kid is still sick. Seriously??
8. Closure. Finally, everyone is back to work, back to school, sleeping and eating normally and no longer downing sugary drinks and ice pops like they're going out of style.
Then kid #2 (if you have one; if you don't, it's got to be you or your spouse) gets it. Repeat the cycle.
End of year: really, do I have to be there to celebrate my child reaching the end of the school year? I'm happy for them. I'm proud of them for somehow having survived another year in school without getting the snot beaten out of them, destroying their lives forever or otherwise getting into deep donkey doo. However, schools have yet to realize or care that very, very few families can afford anymore to have a single earner. Which means, again, asking for time off work to go to these parties, which the kids enjoy, but you still wind up standing in a corner with the other adults while the kids do their thing and don't really care if you're there or not. Woo hoo.
People being sick: can't do much about it. Still, I've noticed that there seem to be stages in parenting a sick kid.
1. Denial. He's not sick - it's allergies.
2. Dawning horror and guilt. Crap. It is a virus/bacterial infection/other infection! I'm a terrible parent for not realizing he was sick.
3. Action. Take temperatures, make kid comfortable, maybe take kid to the doctor.
4. Relief. The doctor tells me to give him Motrin and make him rest while feeding him juice and soda and popsicles.
5. Annoyance. Kids who have been prevented from moving all day and whose fever has been managed with Motrin then who have been encouraged to drink and/or eat juice, soda and ice pops are not so fun to hang out with. I'd rather be at work.
6. Anticipation. He's almost better. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal. Yay!
7. Relapse. Ugh, the kid is still sick. Seriously??
8. Closure. Finally, everyone is back to work, back to school, sleeping and eating normally and no longer downing sugary drinks and ice pops like they're going out of style.
Then kid #2 (if you have one; if you don't, it's got to be you or your spouse) gets it. Repeat the cycle.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Because I suck, that's why
My worst fears are realized. I didn't get a call from the school, but when I picked my son up last night, he was unusually lethargic and almost fell asleep in the car on the way to get his sister. So we got home and I took his temperature. 101.5. Meh, not too bad, but bad enough he's staying home, right?
So he woke up this morning and his skin was stinging hot. So I took his temperature. 101.5. Huh. That's not the end of the world. Two hours later, his temperature is almost 104. Well, shiiiat. So we went to the doctor and he happens to have a pretty nasty virus characterized by high fever, coughing, loads of snot, blisters on the roof of his mouth, lethargy and dizziness (from the fever). Oh, and a terrible parent who is in denial.
I wish I'd clapped my ears over his hands when the doctor recommended drinking and eating juice, popsicles and ice cream. Sadly I was too far away. Oh, well. Can't have everything. But you can have ice cream.
So he woke up this morning and his skin was stinging hot. So I took his temperature. 101.5. Huh. That's not the end of the world. Two hours later, his temperature is almost 104. Well, shiiiat. So we went to the doctor and he happens to have a pretty nasty virus characterized by high fever, coughing, loads of snot, blisters on the roof of his mouth, lethargy and dizziness (from the fever). Oh, and a terrible parent who is in denial.
I wish I'd clapped my ears over his hands when the doctor recommended drinking and eating juice, popsicles and ice cream. Sadly I was too far away. Oh, well. Can't have everything. But you can have ice cream.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Cardinal Sin
Today I committed the cardinal sin of motherhood: sending the potentially sick kid to school. Rags woke up this morning, the day after his birthday (9, for Pete's sake! 9!) feeling a tad on the gross side. Super stopped up, a little oogy in general, but hungry enough to have a bit for breakfast, to feel better after some food and liquid and well enough to choose school over a day spent in bed. Plus, he was taking cupcakes for his birthday, so that was additional incentive.
I'm now I'm waiting. Waiting to hear from the school nurse to tell me he needs to go home. One might argue that I should never have sent him to begin with. And that is possibly true. In fact, it probably is true. That said, have you stayed home with a pissed off kid who's decided (and demonstrated) he's just fine, thankyouverymuch, and doesn't want to spend all day in bed?
Anyway, now that I've committed the cardinal sin, I'm subject to the law of 50/50.
For the uninitiated, the law of 50/50 is also known as the law of It Could Go Either Way. Which means you wait all day to hear from the school nurse and it may or may not happen and you're not quite sure whether to feel like the worst mother in the world (if you get The Call) or a reasonable person making an educated call based on what you know of your kid (if you don't get The Call). Here's why I expect to feel like dirt later:
1. I took the day off. Yes, I'm selfish. I took a whole day off and don't want to be interrupted. Sue me. I have a doctor's appointment I've rescheduled twice due to kid events and would actually like to just get it over with.
2. I need to schedule some home improvements, something that requires a simple call but that I rarely actually have time to do while I'm at work. These home improvements are fairly important: we need our trees trimmed before they fall on the house and Rags needs an actual door to his room (we took the other one off when the frame cracked so hopelessly we couldn't open or close the stinking thing).
3. I would really, really, really like to go for a hike alone and I need new pants that aren't ripped and shoes that aren't falling apart. This is the part that makes The Call most likely. I'm doing something alone for myself with very few time constraints.
So, slap me on the wrist. The law of It Could Go Either Way certainly will.
I'm now I'm waiting. Waiting to hear from the school nurse to tell me he needs to go home. One might argue that I should never have sent him to begin with. And that is possibly true. In fact, it probably is true. That said, have you stayed home with a pissed off kid who's decided (and demonstrated) he's just fine, thankyouverymuch, and doesn't want to spend all day in bed?
Anyway, now that I've committed the cardinal sin, I'm subject to the law of 50/50.
For the uninitiated, the law of 50/50 is also known as the law of It Could Go Either Way. Which means you wait all day to hear from the school nurse and it may or may not happen and you're not quite sure whether to feel like the worst mother in the world (if you get The Call) or a reasonable person making an educated call based on what you know of your kid (if you don't get The Call). Here's why I expect to feel like dirt later:
1. I took the day off. Yes, I'm selfish. I took a whole day off and don't want to be interrupted. Sue me. I have a doctor's appointment I've rescheduled twice due to kid events and would actually like to just get it over with.
2. I need to schedule some home improvements, something that requires a simple call but that I rarely actually have time to do while I'm at work. These home improvements are fairly important: we need our trees trimmed before they fall on the house and Rags needs an actual door to his room (we took the other one off when the frame cracked so hopelessly we couldn't open or close the stinking thing).
3. I would really, really, really like to go for a hike alone and I need new pants that aren't ripped and shoes that aren't falling apart. This is the part that makes The Call most likely. I'm doing something alone for myself with very few time constraints.
So, slap me on the wrist. The law of It Could Go Either Way certainly will.
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