Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The cat's out of the bag.

They finally announced my departure at work. My last day is August 22. What's really bizarre is that, unlike any other place I've worked where they want to suck you dry before you leave, they seem to fully expect me to slack off, not caring if I show up late or if I get anything done other than a list of my projects before I leave. I've decided to rise above - somewhat - by meeting with the potential owners of all my stuff, but have also decided to take liberal use of my large quantities of available vacation time. Which is why I have no qualms taking a paid time off day on very short notice to clean for my father-in-law's impending visit.

It's very strange, though. You'd think with something as complicated as Medicare policy and law, plus ERISA rules, they would be wanting me to do more. And most people are freaking out to some degree, but they don't really expect me to do anything about it or care. It rubs me the wrong way because it's so incredibly stupid and short sighted. I mean, they're screwed. Really, really screwed. And they know it. I've had several people ask me to stay and two have gone to their supervisors to convince them to offer me more to get me to stick around, but they're playing it awfully cool.

Given management's reaction, I'm relieved to be leaving. If I were staying and another key player were leaving, I now know they wouldn't give a rat's ass and would expect me to pick up the slack, working God knows how long every day, because they couldn't trouble themselves to care. Oh, well. Guess I should eat breakfast, get my clothes on and do something around here. I'm kind of glad it's wet and rainy outside - if I weren't, I'd feel obligated to do some yard work.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Crickets chirping.

So, since I resigned Friday, I expected that it would be announced today during the other promotions and organizational announcements. Strangely, though, it wasn't even hinted at. I don't know why - probably political, something related to timing or whatever. Still, it's a mystery. I've decided on a three-week exit period, with liberal use of my accrued paid time off between now and then.

I sat there in my Monday morning staff meeting, waiting for the announcement. But...nothing. I got all worked up for that?!? Jeez, what a let down. Oh, well. I'm sure that, whatever they're planning, I'll hear about it sooner or later.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Stuff and being just plain lucky.

I had a very interesting conversation Friday that was somewhat supplemented by an experience I had yesterday. Nothing earth-shattering, just about the entertainment of children. The basic idea was the kids are overentertained from a very early age. I'd agree with this - I remember when I was younger being either sent outside or banished from the kitchen so my mom could get stuff done. I also had to participate regularly in chores from the time I could take minimal direction - mom said she had me acting as gofer by about Ragsy's age, something I do as well. Apparently this is not so common now. From what I've learned from a lot of people at work, many people cater to their children's entertainment needs all day on the weekend, from buying them toys virtually every weekend to letting them play constantly with electronics or watch TV all day and not involving them in chores. I admit that sometimes it's easier to do it yourself - waiting for a toddler can take three time the amount of time you were hoping to spend and can cause some frustration (but I guess that's when you stop).

So, I was at the St. Louis Bread Company yesterday and was reminded of how lucky I am that my son is pretty self-entertaining. He's also a very cheap date and requires only a minimal amount of toys. A guy was sitting at a table next to us with his two children (I think a girl and a boy) and was on the cell phone almost all the time. They had a ton of stuff with them -books and toys - and this was just the 30-45 minutes they spent at breakfast. Finally, he got off the phone and his little girl (about 5 years old, I think the boy was Ragsy's age) complained of being bored. His response was - "Okay, let's go to the toy store." He talked up the toy store a lot, then took one to the bathroom, asking me to watch his daughter for a few minutes. She and I chatted for a while, then he came back and they left.

I couldn't believe the sheer quantity of stuff they brought in, though. The older girl had typical girly things - a purse with a coloring book, pens and pencils, etc. You know, normal stuff you'd expect a little girl to have now. But I was shocked at the sheer amount of other stuff on top of that. They were carrying a gigantic bag bulging with all kinds of junk - stuffed toys, some books, some toddler-appropriate toys for the little one, and a few other odds and ends. But it was all toys. And they were going to buy more! I was a little surprised because I had come in with Ragsy with nothing but my wallet. I had a diaper bag in the car with some wipes, diapers, a few snacks, etc., since we were going to the Magic House after running a few errands. I was amazed at the contrast.

I think the point is that I'm extraordinarily lucky I have a kid who can be entertained by a black straw and a cup and greeting everyone he encounters with an enthusiastic "Hi!" (sometimes five enthusiastic "Hi's") and a demonstration of his prowess with said straw. This will come in very handy if I have issues drumming up business or finding a job. Yeah, he's ridiculously energetic, which is one of the reasons that after doing some light cleanup on the weekends we spend a ton of time outside. The heat fazes him not at all; neither do all the bug bites. He runs so much I've taken to wearing a sports bra and workout clothes if I'm at home and we're playing. We often take long walks (for a toddler, anyway) and I'll toss him in the car and go to local parks with walking trails so he can burn some energy. One of the reasons we have a membership to the Magic House is because I get hot; Ragsy doesn't care. But I'm lucky that all he really needs is a stick and a place to run.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Another "Ta-Dah!" Moment.

Guess what? I resigned from my job yesterday. I don't know when my exit date will be, but I told my boss I was planning to leave. It was hard, but very right.

No, I don't have a job to go to. I'm not too worried about that (yet), given that last time I was in the same situation, I simply created my own job and eventually got quite good at it. I'm a little nervous about the financial strain over the next however long it takes me to get a job, but I just couldn't stay. The political climate wasn't going the way I thought it should, so it was time to get out before there were any hard feelings.

So, ta-dah!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

So, write already.

I was feeling kind of glum and generally blah a few seconds ago. To be honest, I'm still a little bit disappointed by events of earlier this evening. You see, the last few months I've been hinting very, very explicitly - okay, telling - my husband that I would love to come home just one day and find dinner waiting for me on the table and not have to do anything. You know - not have to buy the groceries after having planned what we're having, not had to worry about if I wasn't cooking it, where the food would come from, not have to stop, not have to buy the food and drive it home, not have to attempt to cook it with a toddler clinging to my leg. Just for it to be there, ready for me, on a plate like I frequently do for my husband.

So, this evening, he was very cagey about where he and Ragsy were going after he picked him up from daycare. He said, "Ragsy has somewhere he'd like to go. So we're going there." "Oh, good!" thought I. Maybe a little surprise? Um, no. My husband showed up at about 6:30 - dinner time - after having taken Ragsy for ice cream. And didn't bring me any. Grrrr... What unfortunate timing. Anyway, our son was unsurprisingly not hungry and, somewhat chagrined, my husband offered to do all the rest of the evening's tasks, including dishes, putting Ragsy to bed, etc. Well, 50-50 ain't bad - I think they might both be asleep in there.

Fortunately for him, my ire has cooled. It's a silly thing to be annoyed about, but that's what happens when you live with someone you love for a long time, isn't it? You a) grow closer and b) find out what annoys you about the other person. Fortunately the category b isn't very large for me.

Anyway, I was sitting here wondering what to do with my free time (I still refuse to pick up those dishes, darn it). I've worked out. I've watered the plants. I've showered. And after flipping on the TV, paging through a magazine for a moment, and writing this post, I've decided I'm going to suck it up and write.

What lots of people don't know about me is that I fantasize. A lot. Not necessarily about sex, but I write stories in my head. It's almost constant - I do it now without thinking about it. That's probably the biggest reason I write - to get it out and organize it or it gets all jumbled because there are a lot of stories going on up there at once, and they pile up over time. TV interferes with my mental story writing - too much input, both audio and visual. But I was feeling lazy and didn't really feel like it, so I needed a transition-to-writing activity - great reason to have a blog. So, here I am. And here I go to write already and organize the crap in my head (if not my house).

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Catch up

I've written full blog posts a few times, then decided not to post them. Some were just too silly to post. Others provided a little too much information about work, so I reconsidered. At the moment, I've got a quiet moment at home, so I can think more clearly about what I want to say. This all sounds so cryptic, doesn't it? And this post will be anticlimactic in the extreme. But a lot is going on at work and not much is going on at home, which is the way I like it (minus the lots going on at work).

I'm still employed and enjoying it, to some extent anyway. Ragsy continues to amaze me with the pace at which he's developing. I know it's normal, but having never been around a toddler for extended periods of time, it floors me when all of a sudden a complicated word is used correctly in a fairly complicated sentence. Or he comes to me and asks to use the potty and, lo and behold, he does. Not out of diapers yet, but definitely making progress in that direction. I think I need to talk to the people at daycare and see at what point they start involving the two-year olds in potty training.

Our Fourth of July weekend was relaxing and fun. We went to Mom's house, ate too much, saw family we don't see frequently enough and watched Ragsy buzz around like a whirling dervish. This weekend has been far busier, but no less enjoyable. Friday night I threw Ragsy in the car and took him to the Bastille Day events in Maplewood, meeting a coworker. We got stuck in the rain and piled under a tent with a bunch of strangers. Ragsy had a ball getting wet and made everyone else laugh. Then we went to a restaurant and grabbed some tapas and went home.

Yesterday was a morning trip to the Magic House and puttering around in the afternoon. Today, Ragsy is at the zoo with his dad until noonish. Even though he still wakes between 5:30 and 6, some days I don't ever want this age to end. He's such a happy kid, and that happiness is transcendant and infectious in a way that adult joy rarely is. You almost never see an adult's eyes shining with enjoyment as another adult breaks into applause because they're so happy they can't contain themselves. In fact, if you saw that, you'd think it was totally bizarre since adults aren't often happy just because. But a little kid? I can't think of anything that'll make someone else smile more easily.

Anyway, I'm making myself morose. I need to clean - the house looks like a bomb went off (why does that seem our constant state?) - and I need to figure out what else we're going to eat this week and make it. I've got one dish, but the other I made last night is already gone. Maybe this would be a good chance to visit our friends with the new baby. I'm a terrible friend since I have yet to see them. But I don't like showing up empty handed and I haven't had a chance to make anything. I guess it's not a requirement that it be made by me, but I'm weird that way. I think I'm turning into my mother.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Wow, are you kidding?

I saw an article today on CNN that made me understand one of the phrases I see so frequently: "It's not news, it's CNN!" It was about Starbucks and what people would do without it. Apparently more are closing because of poor revenues, presumably because people are - gasp - brewing their own coffee. Dear Lord, is the apocalypse nigh??

I was aware that Starbucks has become an American institution, but wasn't aware that the world as we know it would end were some people to stop going there thanks to tightened budgets. Then again, what do I know?

Nothing much has been happening since my last post. Life has been going on, Ragsy's becoming increasingly defiant and more complex and has learned how to express a few basic emotions. "Mommy, I mad at you." Unfortunately, he hasn't totally grasped the concept of assessing why he's feeling what he's feeling - cause and effect is probably much more difficult when it's not something you can touch - so when I ask why ("Why are you mad? You're mad because..."), he repeats "Screaming and yelling" because it's what he usually gets in trouble for. I should be careful what I wish for since once he's able to tell me why he's mad, there's bound to be a list of my sins about a mile long. Hopefully he's not storing them up so he can share them with me later.

Anyway, that's it. We'll be going to my mom's house for the July 4th weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Ragsy loves to visit new places and I'm looking forward to seeing my aunt and uncle. Too bad my sister couldn't be there, too.